Reluctance is the Path

That’s a crazy thing to say, I know. But hear me out…

Sometimes I feel what I like to call “social reluctance.” Basically, I sometimes feel dread about doing things that have me engaging with other human beings, outside of my home. Going to conferences can trigger this for me. Gong to networking events. Doing phone calls and livestreams. Or just playing golf with friends or family. It’s silly, but it can feel crippling.

What I’ve found, though, is that if I can push myself to experience the discomfort of that social engagement, I always benefit. I almost never regret doing the thing, whatever the thing happens to be.

Yesterday I played golf with my family. It’s something that’s been in the works for more than a month. But it was something I didn’t volunteer to do. My wife signed me up, and I found myself sort of “obligated” to go.

I love my family. They are all, to each individual, amazing people that care for and respect me. I love spending time with them. I look forward to it. But this engagement wasn’t one I was enthusiastic about, mostly because I’d just gotten home from a week of socially engaging with a few thousand authors in a town I do not particularly like, in a casino filled with smoke and noise and distractions. I was socialized out.

But I went. I faced the discomfort of it. And I came away feeling happy.

If we can embrace discomfort, become comfortable with being uncomfortable, we will find a path to joy.

Every time we push ourselves to embrace that discomfort we are resetting our tolerance. We are able to face even more uncomfortable situations in the future. In essence, we are improving on ourselves as we go. We’re becoming better versions of ourselves, because we are gaining experiences and exceeding our limits.

Discomfort is a sign. Reluctance is a sign. Reluctance is the path.

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