A secret code that changed an author's life?

I have a secret. But I’ll get to that in a minute.

A short time ago I had a problem. The way I phrased it to my friends and family was this:

“I’m just not excited about anything anymore.”

You can see what a conundrum that is.

I wasn’t just talking about getting my heart racing over something—the sort of Christmas-morning excitement I felt as a kid, the nervous energy of going on a first date, the thrill of going to an amusement park. It’s true, none of that stuff was doing it for me anymore. I haven’t had a first date in 17+ years anyway. My wife doesn’t let me. Boo.

It was just that life had lost its spice. Nothing interested me anymore. I used to get excited about movies and TV shows and books, and all of that was a drag now, too. I got to a point where I was just numb, letting the days go by without noting much about them. I wasn’t what I’d call depressed… or maybe I was, but didn’t realize it. Mostly, though, I just felt an overwhelming “is this all there is?” feeling. Is that depression? That could be depression.

See someone for help, if you feel like that. Don’t get all your mental health tips from a novelist.

In some ways, I’m still feeling this. But it’s starting to turn around. And, most important, I’m starting to understand why it’s turning around.

It all started when I became curious.

I’ve always been interested in certain topics. But sometimes the effort of digging into them takes a lot out of me. I mean, I sort of do “research” as part of my living, exploring various topics in history and science and human culture so I can write about them. So… it’s kinda “work.” That turned out to be a nice starting place, though.

What I started doing was allowing myself to go down rabbit trails. As I was researching one topic, I would allow myself to veer off into another. I’d read some tasty little tidbit on Wikipedia or in a news article, and I’d let myself have the leave to run after it and see where it led me. Sometimes it would give me an idea for the current book, or sometimes it would inspire something entirely new. Sometimes it was just a satisfying snack between meals.

Then I started letting my curiosity branch out from my writing and just become a regular part of my day. If I saw an actor in a movie that looked familiar, I’d go track down his or her career to see where I might know them from. That would lead to reading or watching YouTube videos about a movie I haven’t seen in decades, which would lead to exploring other similar movies, which would lead to looking at the history or events that inspired the movie.

We live in an age of wonder—anything you want to know is right there waiting for you.

But curiosity comes in handy away from screens, too. I discovered that my new neighborhood bumps up against an entire network of abandoned country roads that aren’t in use anymore, but are perfect for cruising along on my mountain bike. I’ve learned that within a short ride on my motorcycle are hundreds of miles of state and national park land to explore. I found out that there are dinosaur tracks within walking distance of my home, and an entire network of caverns just a short drive away.

Curiosity—cultivating it, nurturing it, willfully engaging it—was suddenly giving me back what I’d lost. I was finding myself engaged in my life again. I found myself wanting to see more, and getting excited when I had the opportunity.

Not dance-on-the-table excited. Not nearly-pee-myself excited. More subdued. Excitement tempered by experience. But there’s a joy in it, nonetheless. And funny thing… that joy grows, the more I let curiosity reign.

Oh… my secret. Well, I’m writing a book. And I know, that’s nothing new. But this one’s special because I started it on my 50th birthday—a page per day in a journal, hand-written, exploring my personal principles and philosophies. See, I was curious (comin’ back around!). I wondered, “What are my principles and philosophies? And would anyone else be interested in them?”

I’m answering the first question with every page, day by day. I’ll answer the second question when the book releases. Since my goal is to write a daily entry, and there are 123 pages in that journal—and I’m on page/day 49 at present), it’ll be a bit before it’s finished. I still have to type those entries up, maybe write some sort of introduction and/or author’s note. Then there’s the whole publishing process. But I figure it should be ready to release sometime around February 2023.

The reason I’m sharing this now, though, is because curiosity is something I’ve written about in the book. And it inspired today’s blog post. It’s basically inspired every blog post I’ve written for the past few weeks. Curiosity got me back to this blog, and to other content. Curiosity gave me the will and the desire to do something, just to see what it would come to. And in doing something, I’m discovering something. Or maybe rediscovering it.

I’m finding my mojo. I’m getting my groove back. I’m finding myself engaged in the world again.

Maybe curiosity can do the same for you.

Take the time to indulge in your own curiosities. Give yourself permission to “geek out” over any topic that interests you. Don’t listen to haters or naysayers or scoffers (even if they’re you). Do yourself the unending favor of becoming willfully curious, and follow that curiosity wherever it leads. People have been known to change the world by doing this. Maybe you’ll be one of them.

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If you like this post, there’s a blog full of this kind of stuff. And Side Notes is basically an extension of my Note at the End, which you’ll find in all of my novels. And you can find those by clicking here. Share this post with your friends, if you found it helpful. And buy my books if you’d like to support me and my work!

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