You ever think about the shape of your life?

Not in the sense of, “My life is currently such a mess/such a blessing.” That’s more like your life’s condition.

The shape of your life, the way I mean it, comes down to what you want your life to look like, and more for an overview perspective, rather than specifics.

Who do you want to be? What is it you want people to know you for? What do you want to accomplish? What habits, attitudes, and philosophies do you want to be part of your life?

I think that thinking of your life in terms of a shape is a better approach than thinking in terms of goals. Because goals are a target that, hit or miss, limits you in some way. Think about it—if you succeed in your goal, you have to stop working toward it. You have to pick a new one. That particular journey is done. And the same is true for when you fail at a goal. Failing to reach a goal deflates you, drains your initiative, because when the goal is no longer there you’re no longer moving toward it. No longer moving forward.

Goals make your life finite.

But a shape for your life—that’s a continuous and ongoing thing. That’s you living. Because if you ever stop living toward that shape you have in mind, it’s done. Full stop. But living into that shape every day is a practice of philosophy and effort, always. It’s progress. It’s momentum. It’s infinite growth.

As an example, I have a vision of my life as a writer. There’s a certain way I want my life to look and feel. It isn’t an Instagram fantasy version of my life, by the way. It isn’t about living like a Hollywood film star, driving Lamborghinis and living in hundred-million-dollar mansions. Those are just accessories, not the shape of your life. They could come, as a result of living into the shape I have in mind. But even if they don’t, they were never the point.

No, the shape of it is, I want to be someone who does what he loves, all the time. I have a goal of doing only what love, 100% of the time. And that’s a great target to aim for, because even if I fall short, and only hit, say, 50% of the time, I’m still doing what I love 50% of the time. That’s joy.

The shape I’m aiming for includes being a morally and ethical upright person. It includes being a thinker and a philosopher. It includes producing work that meets my mission: To inform and inspire, educate and entertain, in the service of God and humanity.

So as a writer, I see my life as opportunities to write, and to write what I love and enjoy. I see having readers who love my work, and follow me more than the characters I create or the stories I tell. I see living in a beautiful home, in an interesting and nurturing community, having friends and family who understand and appreciate me, having the finances to do what I love to do, and enjoy the things I want to enjoy. And taking the specifics out of that vision means that it becomes open to interpretation. It frees me up to look around and say, “Hey… this apartment is a nice home. My neighbors are nice people.” Or I can say, “Hey! This house is beautiful. The neighborhood is great. My community is wonderful.”

I get to interpret the shape of my life from my surroundings, rather than let the circumstances of my life dictate whether I’m failing or succeeding in pursuit of my goals.

My desires will always increase, as I go. But the shape of my life doesn’t depend on those desires.

For example, that mansion I mentioned above—that could be something I desire. The cars, the celebrity, the liberty to do what I want, when I want. Those could be desires. But if I’m more focused on the shape of my life, then even if I don’t get everything I desire, I’m still living a good and happy life. My happiness doesn’t depend on things, or achievements. It depends on the living part.

If I focus my energy and effort on becoming the sort of person I want to be, then what I achieve and accomplish and acquire becomes less important than who I am.

My identity, my sense of self, becomes focused on living in and up to that shape, rather than chasing this goal or that achievement or that possession. And since living into that shape is a constant, and requires continually renewing my commitment and effort, that means I can, potentially, be joyful, happy, successful, all the time.

Choose a shape for your life.

It doesn’t have to be a permanent choice, or a limiting choice. That’s the beautify of this philosophy. Because as you grow into this shape you’ve chosen, you may discover that there are other shapes you like, too. You’ll fit new patterns into that shape. You’ll find new ways to express your growth, to express yourself.

Stop chasing goals. Start defining the shape of you. And Start living into that shape.

TRANSCRIPT AVAILABLE BELOW!

Whatever your goals are, whatever you're trying to do with your life, there's that little blip of a moment where you hesitate, wondering if you're ready. You're ready.

Or you're not.

But you will be.

And the way you get there is to START. Here. Now. Right away. Even if the action you take is just some dive into trying it out or learning more about it, every action counts, and every action moves you forward.

Closer to your goal is the goal. So start, even if you're not ready. What I didn't mention is that "start before you ready" is a very stoic idea. I like stoicism as a philosophy, because it hinges on self-reliance and personal responsibility.

Very =Kevin.

Don't forget to like, subscribe, and share!

// If you liked this video, you might also find something you like at https://kevintumlinson.com Books, podcasts, videos—it's a crazy amount of content.

And you can get a FREE book if you join my mailing list at https://kevintumlinson.com/joinme

OTHER PARTS OF MY LIFE

If you've ever wanted to write and publish a novel or other book, I do a ton of work for the indie author/self-publishing community.

Here are some of the things I do:

• Wordslinger Podcast: http://wordslingerpodcast.com

• Draft2Digital: https://draft2digital.com/wordslinger

• Indie Author Blueprint: https://indieauthorblueprint.com

• Author.Email: https://author.email

TRANSCRIPT

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

marketing, writing, word, coffee shops, improve, learn, includes, editing process, slinger, hesitating, making, mark, focus, digital marketing, ironic, limiting, started, concentrate, photoshop, diving

SPEAKERS

Kevin Tumlinson

Kevin Tumlinson  00:09

6am this is about the time I roll out to my one of my coffee shops. I have to rotate coffee shops. Because if I go to the same coffee shop too often people start to recognize me. And then they want to talk and I don't mind talking and that's the problem.

Kevin Tumlinson  01:05

I figure the mark of success is that it always comes back to are you improving? whatever it is you're focused on. I'm a writer. So I focus on writing a lot. And I can judge my success by whether or not I'm improving, and all the things that matter. That includes money. I mean, that includes making money from the books that I write, but it also includes refining my editing process and making more contacts that I can leverage for better opportunities. But there's a lot that goes into writing really, that, you know, I for years, I ignored. I don't want to ignore that anymore. I haven't been ignoring that. I've actually been focusing quite a bit on, you know, building up this whole process and technique for not just writing the book, but producing it, getting it out into the world and then marketing that book. Marketing always seemed like a dirty word to me. Which is ironic, because Mark getting really is a big part of my life. I do marketing for drafter digital marketing for the word slinger podcast, I do marketing for all these other things, the silos things that are a part of my life. Marketing doesn't have to be scary. It actually isn't all that scary marketing is just putting your work out there so that it can be found by the right person at the right time when they're ready to buy it. That's the line I give everybody all the time.

Kevin Tumlinson  02:39

So one of the things I've dealt with a lot in everything I do is limiting myself or I start hesitating because I don't know everything or I don't know what I need to do. First what I need to concentrate on is this concept that has come up lot in any research, I've done any studying I've done and it's all about starting before you're ready, you hear that phrase a lot, right? I think that is actually the key. Like everything I ever learned that was useful in any way. It started first. With me just diving in. You know, I wanted to learn how to use Photoshop back in my 20s and I just dove in and did some stuff in Photoshop. I wanted to learn how to edit video. I did that. And you know, there's always room to improve on all this stuff. But you can improve on something unless you're already doing it. So start before you're ready.

IF YOU ENJOYED THIS LITTLE TALE …

You might enjoy a good thriller novel. And I happen to write thriller novels. Find something to keep you up all night at KevinTumlinson.com/books

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Kevin Tumlinson is an award-winning and bestselling thriller author and podcast host. He travels the world looking for interesting tidbits of history and culture to fold into his work, and spends much of his time writing from hotels, cafes, coffee shops, and the occasional ride line at Disney World. Find more of Kevin and his work, including novels and podcasts, at KevinTumlinson.com.