You ever think about the shape of your life?

Not in the sense of, “My life is currently such a mess/such a blessing.” That’s more like your life’s condition.

The shape of your life, the way I mean it, comes down to what you want your life to look like, and more for an overview perspective, rather than specifics.

Who do you want to be? What is it you want people to know you for? What do you want to accomplish? What habits, attitudes, and philosophies do you want to be part of your life?

I think that thinking of your life in terms of a shape is a better approach than thinking in terms of goals. Because goals are a target that, hit or miss, limits you in some way. Think about it—if you succeed in your goal, you have to stop working toward it. You have to pick a new one. That particular journey is done. And the same is true for when you fail at a goal. Failing to reach a goal deflates you, drains your initiative, because when the goal is no longer there you’re no longer moving toward it. No longer moving forward.

Goals make your life finite.

But a shape for your life—that’s a continuous and ongoing thing. That’s you living. Because if you ever stop living toward that shape you have in mind, it’s done. Full stop. But living into that shape every day is a practice of philosophy and effort, always. It’s progress. It’s momentum. It’s infinite growth.

As an example, I have a vision of my life as a writer. There’s a certain way I want my life to look and feel. It isn’t an Instagram fantasy version of my life, by the way. It isn’t about living like a Hollywood film star, driving Lamborghinis and living in hundred-million-dollar mansions. Those are just accessories, not the shape of your life. They could come, as a result of living into the shape I have in mind. But even if they don’t, they were never the point.

No, the shape of it is, I want to be someone who does what he loves, all the time. I have a goal of doing only what love, 100% of the time. And that’s a great target to aim for, because even if I fall short, and only hit, say, 50% of the time, I’m still doing what I love 50% of the time. That’s joy.

The shape I’m aiming for includes being a morally and ethical upright person. It includes being a thinker and a philosopher. It includes producing work that meets my mission: To inform and inspire, educate and entertain, in the service of God and humanity.

So as a writer, I see my life as opportunities to write, and to write what I love and enjoy. I see having readers who love my work, and follow me more than the characters I create or the stories I tell. I see living in a beautiful home, in an interesting and nurturing community, having friends and family who understand and appreciate me, having the finances to do what I love to do, and enjoy the things I want to enjoy. And taking the specifics out of that vision means that it becomes open to interpretation. It frees me up to look around and say, “Hey… this apartment is a nice home. My neighbors are nice people.” Or I can say, “Hey! This house is beautiful. The neighborhood is great. My community is wonderful.”

I get to interpret the shape of my life from my surroundings, rather than let the circumstances of my life dictate whether I’m failing or succeeding in pursuit of my goals.

My desires will always increase, as I go. But the shape of my life doesn’t depend on those desires.

For example, that mansion I mentioned above—that could be something I desire. The cars, the celebrity, the liberty to do what I want, when I want. Those could be desires. But if I’m more focused on the shape of my life, then even if I don’t get everything I desire, I’m still living a good and happy life. My happiness doesn’t depend on things, or achievements. It depends on the living part.

If I focus my energy and effort on becoming the sort of person I want to be, then what I achieve and accomplish and acquire becomes less important than who I am.

My identity, my sense of self, becomes focused on living in and up to that shape, rather than chasing this goal or that achievement or that possession. And since living into that shape is a constant, and requires continually renewing my commitment and effort, that means I can, potentially, be joyful, happy, successful, all the time.

Choose a shape for your life.

It doesn’t have to be a permanent choice, or a limiting choice. That’s the beautify of this philosophy. Because as you grow into this shape you’ve chosen, you may discover that there are other shapes you like, too. You’ll fit new patterns into that shape. You’ll find new ways to express your growth, to express yourself.

Stop chasing goals. Start defining the shape of you. And Start living into that shape.